NotTheNameWeWanted
Hooks you right away
What the data shows
- 87% of first-hour reviews are positive — about the same as players with 3+ hours (86%).
- The opening is criticised less than in 87% of games we track.
- 15% of players who start reach the ending.
- Most players drop off before “Comm Plete Wy Als Lev Al” (Complete Wales): only 54% of starters get there.
- 79% of owners got the first achievement.
When it gets good
Share of positive reviews by how many hours the reviewer had played when writing the review.
before it gets good opening up fully opened up
Based on all 2,555 Steam reviews in every language. Median playtime in a sample of 282 reviews: 1.3h for positive, 0.9h for negative. Almost every game is rated lower in the first 2–3 hours: that window includes refunds and quick first impressions. What matters is how deep the dip is and how fast the game recovers.
Where players quit
Share of players who started the game and reached each story milestone. 100% is the most common achievement (79.2% of owners), so people who bought the game and never launched it don't count.
- Started playing 100%
- Comm Plete Wy Als Lev Al Complete Wales. Most players quit here 54% −46
- Big Deal Complete Swindon. 41% −14
- Great Traffic Adventure Complete the Game. 15% −26
story milestone ending biggest drop-off
Story milestones were labeled by AI from achievement names and descriptions; mistakes are possible.
All achievements (39)
story milestone ending side
- Cael Oddi Fy Tir Play as Daffyd for the first time. 100%
- Twiddling the Bits Visit the options screen. 65%
- Hello, my name is Kenneth. Met Kenneth, the manager of Lidl, Swidon! 63%
- Comm Plete Wy Als Lev Al Complete Wales. 54%
- wot u lookin at Play as Darren for the first time. 50%
- Big Deal Complete Swindon. 41%
- Once For Each Year Die as David Cameron 5 times in the same game. 39%
- Something from the Salad Bar Get sliced by the harvester. 36%
- Taking it From Behind Hit the Shagging Campers from the top. 35%
- ReElection Special Dies as David Cameron another 5 times in the same game. 35%
- Tally Ho! Play as David for the first time. 34%
- Search and Destroy Destroy the first piece of evidence. 21%
- Seek and Eliminate Destroy the second piece of evidence. 21%
- Hunt and Kill Destroy the third piece of evidence. 21%
- Uncover and Cover Up Destroy the fourth piece of evidence. 21%
- Locate and Ruin Destroy the fifth piece of evidence. 21%
- Find and F*** Up Destroy the sixth piece of evidence. 21%
- Sorry, Went For a Cuppa Destroy the... fourteenth piece of evidence? 19%
- Now Then, Where Were We? Destroy the fourteenth piece of evidence. 19%
- That Can't Be Right Definitely destroy the fourteenth piece of evidence. 19%
- Oh I Give Up All this counting is boring. 18%
- Great Traffic Adventure Complete the Game. 15%
- Know Your Enemy Complete the tour of the M4 corridor. 14%
- Splat the Rat You splat the rat. 14%
- The Ex-Wife Crash into the lake when the body is floating. 12%
- Total Clock Up Crash into Big Ben while it is chiming. 12%
- GaGa Listen to all the radio stations. 11%
- Prison Rules Apply Kill all the campers before picking up the soap. 11%
- A Flaw in the System Learn the Lidl safe combination. 9.7%
- Mindless Destruction Destroy all the scenery in the Lidl Car Park. 9.1%
- Jimmy Carr's Accountant Get caught with only one piece of evidence left to destroy. 9.1%
- Spud-U-Like Listen to entire rap. 9.0%
- Turn an Eye Blind Crash into the London Eye while it is spinning fast. 7.4%
- Who Are These Guys!? In the London Heist crash into any four of the portaits on the walls. 6.7%
- Communist Leanings. Make 100 consecutive left turns in SuperSnake. 6.2%
- Thamesting Fate Cross the Thames 50 times without crashing. 6.2%
- Beyond the Possible Complete any level and its heist on Dark Souls mode. 5.8%
- Practice Makes Perfect Complete London without dying. 5.4%
- Paradox If... If we could somehow... harness this lightning... channel it... into the flux capacitor... it just might work 5.4%